Eksena

...sequence xxx. interior xxx...

Maya: Gusto mo na bang kumain?

Alex: Kailangan ba laging nakadepende sakin?

Maya: Kasi ako, cigurado na ako sa gusto ko, ikaw na lang ang hindi.

Alex: Bakit, ano ba ang gusto mo?

Maya: Ikaw

Alex: Ako? Paanong ako?

Maya: Ikaw- un ang sagot sa tanong

Alex: Paanong ako?

Maya: Nahihirapan na akong sagutin ang mga tanong mo...tanungin mo na lang ako ng kahit anong tanong na pwede kong sagutin ng oo o hindi lang...

Alex: Hindi...magkwento ka...

Maya: Natatakot na'ko...nahuhulog na'ko sa'yo.

Alex: Kailangan ko na bang lumayo?

Maya: Gusto mo na bang lumayo?

Maya: Ano pa kasi ang nararamdaman mo para sa'kin?

Alex: I like you Maya. Pero hindi ko pa kaya ibigay sayo lahat. Ayokong saktan ka. Kaya ko tinatanong kung kailangan ko bang lumayo.

Maya: Ano ba ang kaya mong ibigay?

Alex: Kung ano ako ngayon

Maya: Kaya mo bang lumayo?

Alex: Kaya mo pa ba na ganito tayo?

Maya: Kinakaya. Kakayanin. Gusto mo pa ba na kayanin ko?

Alex: Kaya ko nga tinatanong sa'yo

Maya: Pero meron akong gustong hilingin

Alex: Ano yun?

Maya: Kung sakaling dumating ang araw na ayaw mo na...magpaalam ka naman...para alam ko lang.

Alex: Yes ma'am...masyado kang madrama

Maya: Pwede na kong best actress

Alex: Hindi pa rin.

Maya: Ah ganun? Ayaw mo lang akong magkatrophy pampalo sa ulo mo. Di bale, bibili na lang ako sa recto.

Alex: Hahaha. Namimiss na kita.

......

Haven't been writing to blogspot for almost four months since I started creating my multiply account....Well, blogspot is even more luckier compared to my Livejournal since I haven't checked the latter for ages now.

Hmmm...oh well..can't say Multiply is better..well, in terms of sharing pictures with friends...it's way way better...but blogspot seems to be the home of my "more personal" thoughts....I think...

I don't know how to say it...but yes...I am a bit "broken" the past few weeks...

It has been a cycle that keeps repeating everytime I fall for someone...

yah, maybe I just have to accept that Love isn't for me...

I haven't met a single man willing to fight for me and that's something that hurts most of the time..

I may not be the most "ideal girlfriend" in town but I know I have alot to offer as well...I deserve better..I should know...

But why do I always settle for "pseudo-relationships" kind of set-up...maybe because I am tired...maybe because I'm fed up....maybe because at the back my mind...I am sincerely hoping that this "parang kami-pero hindi" set up would turn into something serious....

But it never happened...

Never...

wala lang

With my consent, you stole my sanity...

And just like them...

You chose to break my heart.

at the moment

For the nth time,

Someone stole my sanity with my consent...

And just like anybody else...

He unconsciously chose to break my heart...

Finding love

What if the love you have always wanted finally decided to take its course in finding you?

But what if the journey has been too long that you have traveled so far in building a world where only solitude and insanity are welcome?

Is love enough for you to go back and rediscover love once again?

Or has it been too much you can no longer risk the chance of getting hurt once more?

senti

“Kung darating ka pa…sana ngayon na, dahil baka bukas o makalawa, hindi mo na ako makita.”

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako tutungo, hindi ko na alam ang landas na dapat kong tahakin upang magtagpo ang ating landas. Ganun ba talaga kahirap ang ika’y matagpuan? Ganun ba talaga dapat kasakit?

Pinilit kong maniwala, pinilit kong umasa…pero tila sinusubukan ng tadhana ang aking tibay. Pilit na binabago ng panahon ang aking puso. Pilit nitong hinahangad ang aking pagsuko.

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ako makakarating…Hindi ko rin alam kung dapat pa nga bang panghawakan ang tunay na ako, o mas makabubuting tulad nila’y makipaglaro na lang din sa kapalaran. Maging isang bato at tuluyan ng mawalan ng pakiramdam.

Hindi ko na alam.

Siguro nga talagang mailap sa akin ang kaligayahan. Dahil ang tanging hangad sa akin ng kapalaran ay habangbuhay na kalungkutan at pangungulila.

expecting the unexpected

november 30- december 01...

went to M Cafe after shoot with the rest of the final 5 including Papa Hayden..HAHA...

definitely a different experience...


yeah...a total escapade....

:(

whew

really tired

stressed out

i just hate the feeling

alone

lonely

harassed

yet no one to talk to...

losing my religion

i'm not really losing my religion...i just can't think of any title....

hmmmm, i feel bad...went to mass this afternoon but it turned out to be a real struggle on my part.

i left after the homily. why? I can't focus...and I really feel bad about leaving...

:(